Hellions Press: Story of the Grindhouse LSV2

AFTER WINNING NUMEROUS AWARDS, KEVIN "BUCKSHOT" BUCHANIEC IS ASKED TO TELL THE TALE OF THE GRINDHOUSE.

MILLINGTON, IL - September 20 , 2009 - The Hellions' Light Strike Vehicle 2 (LSV2), better known as "The Grindhouse" to the players on the field, has made a major impact on another scenario. This time it was the Training Day V scenario produced by Splatterzone and hosted by Fox Paintball in Millington, Illinois. It won several tank battles and sent scores of players to the dead box. In the end, it was given the Best Tank Award. The Grindhouse that took the field is not the same one that debuted at the Hellions: Red Storm Rising scenario or the same as the one that sent Allied Airborne units scurrying for cover at Oklahoma D-Day 2008--which earned it the Best German Tank Award. Kevin "Buckshot" Buchaniec, the evil genius behind the Grindhouse, was asked to write down the story of how the LSV2 came to be. This is his tale:

Part I: Origins of the Grindhouse
In 2007, a new rule was added to the extensive list that governs Oklahoma D-Day. It was the use of Command Cars within the game. The concept was to allow mobile vehicles for some of the key leaders on each side. They didn't have kill plates and were completely open. Basically any shot from an antitank launcher could take it out and the commander inside was subject to normal fire. Of course Spartacus capitalized on the concept and found a 1991 Geo Tracker 4x4 near the field for only $300. Cosmetically, it was pretty torn up, but mechanically, it was in top notch shape. A few rattle cans of flat Camouflage Rustoleum and a cool rain template that WickedKlown2 cut out and presto, instant Command Car in German Splinter B rain pattern.

Seeing the usefulness and versatility of Geo Tracker as a Command Car, Spartacus looked for another. He really didn't need look that far because Dewayne Convirs, the owner of D-Day Adventure Park had a broken down one in his barn. It had front end damage, a broken radiator, a burned out fuel pump, a dead battery and four dry rotted tires. As we'd find out later, it also had a red hornets nest in the dash board. Dewayne gave Spartacus the car outright for all the work that he and Buckshot did for him on www.ddayadventurepark.com.

Command cars were only the start. Spartacus was on a mission to build a much larger armor force for the Wehrmact of Oklahoma D-Day. With any such endeavor, a cool naming convention was a must. It was settled that all new tanks would be named after a Rob Zombie album or song. It wasn’t very German, but it had definite merit. MOUTH, the former referee coordinator at D-Day, purchased a tank from Bill Bailey and dubbed it Hellbilly. Spartacus’ Command Car became the Sinister Urge and this other Tracker would be christened... The Grindhouse.

The original Grindhaus concept.

First shade of green with left over paint... blah.

Up on blocks and chopped down.

Never try to be Thor and try to throw a large mallet threw a windshield.

Inside is gutted and painted black just to hide the original red.

Score! WWII Jeep tires and rims from Dewayne Convirs

Seat Covers before Buckshot lit them on fire while welding.

Working out the turret design and profile.

Turret is taking shape.

A good view of the pallet carousel and original air set up

Welding up the sheet metal on the turret frame.

Bondo and primer.

A shot of the back before she's painted

The dash is torn out and a smaller steering wheel is fabricated for better visability.

SCBA Bottle setup compliments of TAS

POD holders / 4+1 packs scored at D-Day for $1 each. We bought 12.

Look Ma... No wires or air lines!

Buckshot's first attempt at 1944 German Normandy Camo

Second attempt at 1944 German Normandy Camo complet with markings compliments of D-Mac.

Fourth paint job to better match the team and promote our sponsors.

However, the hope of getting the Grindhouse into D-Day 2007 quickly diminished because the repairs were just too extensive to be done before the game at the field. The idea was shelved until the fall and handed off to Buckshot. Heading back down to Oklahoma for D-Day Adventure Park's Red Dawn game seemed like an opportunity to tow the Tracker up to Chicago. It was pulled out of the barn, a tow bar added to the front, some green slime injected in the tires and it was ready for the 500 mile drive. Just a couple of hours into the journey, outside of Springfield, MO, a catastrophe almost happened when a loose bolt fell out of the tow bar and the Tracker was just about sent free at 70 MPH. A quick stop at Wal-Mart and all was fixed. The rest of the journey was almost uneventful... except when the Tracker somehow jumped into gear two blocks from Buckshot's house outside of Chicago. The end result was a shattered transmission which became one more line item on the long list of repairs. So 500 miles later and seeing how it was late fall, the Tracker slept in Buckshot's Garage for a few months until a new / used transmission could be located.

The first order of business to bring the Tracker back to life was dropping the fuel tank and installing a new pump. Once that was done a new battery was added and with some coaxing from some starting fluid she cranked right up. Sometime in late February, a transmission was located on eBay on the South Side of Chicago. The bid for $100 passed and Buckshot goes to pick it up. A little coercion and Spartacus and Buckshot installed the new tranny with only one torn pectoral muscle and some skin scrapped off of a knuckle. A quick bracket welded to the frame and a used radiator; she was mechanically “sound”... well, let's just say she ran. We felt a lot had to do with the steady stream of Rob Zombie tunes we fed her while working.

TEAM NEWS: HELLIONS' TANK RACKS UP ANOTHER AWARD.